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Login Here Signup Here Signup using FacebookI’ve noticed in looking around this board that alot of folks here have struggled with eating disorders. I have too. I have always (literally from the time I was a toddler) been overweight, and at different points in my life have struggled with all manner of disordered eating issues. I was a compulsive overeating child. Middle school and part of high school I had alot of anorexic behaviour, lost alot of weight, and felt like general crap. As I got older (parts of high school/college) I developed alot of bulimic habits. Sprinkled on and off would be bouts of compulsive overeating, which has continued to rear its ugly head on and off til now. (I’m 26 now) None of my disordered eating ever got severe enough to land me in a hospital or dangerously obese, but it has definitely left its share of scars on my body, mind, and spirit.
I’m just wondering how raw veganism has helped in your journeys and healing. I’m hoping it can help me too.
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I’ve struggled my share as well. Raw has really helped me in my nutritional journey, spiritual as well. I’m forming a new kind of relationship with food and my authentic self. Raw has been the only dietary lifestyle that has truly worked for me. I’m fighting anorexia, bulimia and orthorexia nervosa… Raw has served as a nutritional balance in my recovery. I’ve been in and out of hospitals for 12 years. I have a lot of health problems from years and years of abuse and RAW has helped a lot of physical and physiological conditions as well. I am not a fan of Western medicine so I look to whole foods and herbs for healing.
How are you doing now?
When i went gluten-free, it was like someone flicked a switch and the addictive eating just stopped. When i went raw, The clarity that came, the intense love for self, the healing on every level. It’s why I’m here.
I know very litlte people who have NOT had eating “disorders” or “issues” with food.
I think it’s not so much that veganism (I mean true veganism, which is for ethical reasons, including clothing and personal care items choices) attracts eating-disordered people as eating-disordered people may have more of a grasp on suffering and can extend their understandings to non-human animals as well…..
RawDance- You are wonderful, thank you for sharing here all that you do. I’m hoping the nutrional and spiritual benefits of raw can help me in a similiar way, help form a new relationship with food and my self. I know my compulsive eating is not just about food, but I’m hoping that getting all the nutrition I need from raw will help me stop craving so much, since my body will be getting what it NEEDS, and that giving my body what it needs will help me learn to love my body more, and give me clarity in dealing with my emotions so I won’t be so compelled to “eat my feelings.” I’m am doing ok I guess. I don’t have severe binges, just sort of occasional compulsive “grazing” of unhealthy foods, I guess you could call it, often followed by questioning myself as to whether I should purge, which honestly I haven’t really done in a long time. I do better when I am away from my family, as I have a mother who would repeatedly tell me as a child “you’re fat and no one will ever love you” and during my teenage anorexic years made it clear she’d rather me be thin and semi-suicidal than fat and happy. Unfortunately, I’m stuck living w/her right now, so it’s a constant reminder, and constant challenge because of the massive amounts of processed junk food she keeps around. I’m hoping to get out of here ASAP, I think things will be far better for me when I do, and I may be able to start healing more.
Izhpt- Really? I’m curious about that. I’ve read bit about the blood type diet and I’m not supposed to have wheat according to my type, so I’m curious as to what would happen in that department for me if I gave it up. Then again, the blood type diet says I should eat alot of red meat…bleck!
Dear Beautiful, you are blessed with MUCH awareness. This is a POWERFUL tool and you can use it to it’s fullest advanatage to help in your healing. Recovery is a lifelong commitment. I still struggle, big time but every step forward is never a step back. I completely agree that changing your enviornment can help with things. The first place to look into will always be the mind since EDS are psychologically derived. Tapping into the brain and figuring out what is going on, what hurts, unraveling past pain, processing it all, letting go – etc. is a very hard journey but it’s well worth it. Support is crucial. Build an army of support buddies (a trained therapist if need be and support friends in person and online) to help in your guided recovery journey. Count me as one of those people! BIG HUGS
I struggled with bulimia for about 3 or 4 years (age 11-15). (I’m 20 now.) I stopped purging when some of my teeth were about to fall out and my dentist said I would have to get skin grafts. I also developed GURD and couldn’t eat anything without getting really sick. Most of the time, when I did eat, I threw up without trying because my body was so conditioned to it. I had to stay in the hospital for about a week where my eating (and, yes, bathroom activities) were closely monitored. So I didn’t stop purging because of any psychological changes. I just didn’t want to die or be put in a long term hospital. I have struggled with the binge eating and stress eating ever since, though.
I didn’t start to feel OK about my body until about a year ago, when I went vegan and lost about 30 pounds, because then I knew I was losing weight in a healthy way. My binging is almost nonexistent now. I am still insecure about my body, even though I know I’m a healthy weight and wear a size 2.
I know I will never be 100% OK with how I look, but who is? I don’t think I will ever be “cured” of my eating disorder, either. I will heal from it for the rest of my life, though, and it will be just another journey for me. I believe that being raw will help me further develop a healthy relationship with food and with my body.
And RawDance-you are an awesome person! Thanks for all your words of wisdom. (Your recipes rock too!)
Quiora, you are an inspiration. I mean it. I struggle big time with bulimia and am working on reducing behaviors so I can be abstinent too. My teeth are ruined from bulimia. I’m glad yours didn’t fall out. I have had teeth break off, some wobble, many fillings and rootcanals…horrid pitting… horrid discoloration… the acids literally EAT away the teeth and teeth aren’t something that just heal on their own.
How is your GERD now? I balance mine with raw food through acid/alkaline balance.
Hospitals, they start to get really annoying. I lost count of the IVS in the ER I’ve had in the last 5-6 years. There is something out there for everyone that is their wake up call, sometimes it’s a stare at death in the face and sometimes that isn’t even enough… depending on the severity of the disease.
I AM SO GLAD you had your wake up call and recovered as much as you have thus far. You are so young and have so much to live for!
Do any of you who battle eating disorders have advice for a parent of a kid with eating disorders? My stepdaughter is 6 (yes, six) and has been binging and purging since she was 2 years old. Both her bio mom and half sister had/have eating disorders, as well. My step daughter also has bipolar disorder, which we manage with herbs and diet. We’ve used the same behavior plan for several years, because it works for her most of the time, we did the counseling thing for a while, but she refused to even look at the counselor even after 6 months, so we stopped going.
I have to wonder if eating disorders are caused by an imbalance of some sort because I’ve noticed fewer struggles over food with her since we moved the kids to a raw foods 6 weeks ago. She eats more, and more often, she seems to have stopped purging herself for the most part, and she’s less likely to try and get out of a meal. Do any of you have suggestions to help her break the cycle?
Hmm…I do not have a eating disorder, but I do have a history with disordered eating and am a recovering self-injurer, and while this thread is about “eating” disorders, I am quite familiar with disorder in general and desire to share, because my past with disordered eating is linked with my self-injury. In the interest of openness, I feel like having full-disclosure so here I go. If anyone is triggery towards this type of stuff, you may want to skip. I know I personally am sometimes triggery towards it…
* *
When I was 12, I developed such a revulsion and self-hate towards myself and my body that I couldn’t stand living in it. I started savagely attacking my body, using all types of tools in grotesque ways, starting with my breasts. I am pretty scarred all over my body. I’ve been hospitalized a few times, and the doctors didn’t know how to help me, because even medicated to the gills, I still had such loathing, still wanted to just keep attacking myself. Without getting too graphic and the bathtub was filled with blood everynight. I went to the ER numerous times but eventually I just stopped going, just kept living in my own hell, continuously injuring, for over a decade. Damn, I can’t believe it was that long!
Anyway…I got anemia and couldn’t walk from my bathroom to my bedroom without assistance. I was always shaky and sick. Eventually I started craving sand – saw a bulldozer shoveling sand and knew I had to have some inside of me. I had my then-husband drive to the department store and pick up a 50 lb bag of sand (you can see why it didn’t work out between us long-term, LOL), which didn’t take me too long to devour. I would moisten it in a bowl and then just eat it with a spoon. I know it sounds f-ed up, but…well, I used to be quite disturbed and didn’t know how to help myself. I went through a few bags of sand like this, until my body started to rebel. I wore my teeth in the back down, deep grooves and “cups” formed in my teeth from chewing the sand and I stopped being able to go to the bathroom. This was pretty scary for me. I had to give myself nightly enema’s simply to go to the bathroom, and everytime, my body was clogged with sand.
This disorder is called Pica – probably a side effect of the mental disorders I used to have as well, which included bipolar with psychosis, OCD and severe anxiety.
This continued for awhile, until one night…I took a psychedelic drug, had an out of body experience, and realized what the hell I was doing to myself. I saw how awful and horrible I was treating myself; I saw the whole picture. I know drugs are currently illegal in most places, but if not for that fateful night with mushrooms (raw, actually!), I would not have been able to see myself for what I had became…a sick, miserable excuse of a person…
So anyway. That pretty much jumpstarted me into reaching for health, rather then wallowing in sickness. I wanted to be better then what I was. I stopped eating sand and reestablished my entire relationship with food. On the same trip, I ate some apples and berries, and realized how awesome, how pure, how clean and how SAFE they tasted. Previous to the Pica, I was never severely anorexic or bulemic, but sometimes would not-eat for a few days, then eat and binge and purge. This stopped temporarily when I realized that I could change my approach to food.
Anyway, to make a long-story short, it took about 4 years to become raw vegan. When I started eating raw, my attitude towards my body completely shifted. I realized that what I put into me has a PROFOUND effect on my mental states. I no longer suffer from psychotic episodes or panic attacks and I am learning to make my OCD work FOR ME, rather then against me. My moods are fairly stable; I am learning to treat my emotions like little children, loving them too. I’m still in recovery from self-injury – still think of myself as “healing inside” and releasing all those toxic feelings towards myself. I take everyday as it comes. I fasted for awhile, and while I love fasting, it can provoke a ‘yoyo’ response in me if I am not careful. I only fast now if I have the dedication to carry it on in a spiritual light, rather then destructive. What seems to have healed me the most is RAW FOODS! I can honestly say that I am loving my body for the first time in my life. My body seems like a divine partner; someone I can count on, someone I can trust. I am learning to love and trust myself for the first time EVER…and I owe it to raw foods. I just don’t know where I would be without them.
So yeah, that’s my experience with disordered eating, body image, healing and raw foods. :-)
Awww…thanks rawdance. I really don’t feel like I’m an inspiration though. I mean, I didn’t really conquer bullimia in some heroic or aww inspiring way. I did literally stare death and permenant disfigurment in the face and that scared me more than being fat and losing control over what went into my body. Kinda pathetic actually. I’ve had to have sealents put on my teeth several times, a couple still might fall out, and some of my teeth are a little rough around the edges, but I consider myself very fortunate to have suffered as little long term damage as I have. As far as my GERD goes, I too balance mine with diet! Some foods still aggravate it, if I eat them on an empty stomach especially. And just going vegan helped a TON! How long have you been raw rawdance? I think it is awesome that you are using it to help improve your relationship with food and nutrition. That’s a big inspiration for me!
MOTH: GOD BLESS YOU!!! : )
Thanks, I know that’s a lot to take in, LOL. But seriously…I’ve come a long way.
Msraw: Please go to www.somethingfishy.org – it has good resource material. This is a serious matter, she could die before she sees 7. She needs professional medical help (in my opinion). There are many hospitals that cater to CHILDREN and are EATING DISORDER SPECIFIC. Eds develop for many reasons and as long as someone is behaving in ED related behaviors, they are basically dying by shutting their body down. It originates in the brain though and that must be tapped into so that one can change their mentality. A great ED treatment website is: www.edreferral.com
For the love of an innocent six year old, my heart breaks but I will not lose hope for the faster eds are treated the easier they are to recover from.
When you are under 18, you do not have many choices for treatment. I learned from experience. Force is not always the best approach, it often causes quick relapse. Speak to her gently and encourage her into treatment. She is too young, in my opinion, to be making decisions on her own. Please help get her help. ED teams are loving and compassionate and have really improved these days with treatment.
It will be scary for you both but a young child dying from bulimia nervosa is even scarier ; (
Quiora: I have been raw almost four years now. And please accept my comment graciously, I find you to be an inspiration for your hard work in recovery!
Moth: You are a trooper as well. I use to SI, nothing dramatic but I did deal with it for awhile… especially after my Father’s death when I was 19. PICA is more common than people think – most aren’t willing to talk about it though. Thank you for your honesty. Bless your beautiful soul.
Msraw: Stil can’t get over the comment, my hand is on my heart… seriously…please check out those sites I recommended if you haven’t already.
Msraw – my God/dess…6 years old….SIX YEARS OLD…I am in tears. What are we doing to ourselves, and what are we allowing society to do to us, when toddlers are slowly killing themselves over fear of fat. My heart is breaking for your daughter and you. I don’t know what more to say other than listen to TheRawDance…other than let her know and make sure her father lets her know every single day how much you love her, absolutely unconditionally.
MOTH – I use to SI as well. Like Johnny it wasn’t anything severe, but I still have a few faint scars on my arms. I did it out of self-loathing, out of trying to externalize the internal pain, and I think a little bit out of attention seeking/crying for help to my mother…who never seemed to take notice or care. You have been through a whole hell of alot girl, and thank you for being so open and sharing with us. I had never even heard of Pica before now. Your story of how far you’ve come is inspiring.
TheRawDance – Thank you again and again for your wonderful words of support. You are beautiful! I wish I knew better how to work through my past pain…I can roll it over and over in my head and it still hurts, I just don’t know how to move through it and let it go. I would love to do therapy, but I’ve never been able to afford it. You are so wonderfully inspiring though, I know your journey in recovery will be filled with bright blessings! Count me in as your support buddy too! ::HUGS BACK!::
This is different than everything that is mentioned here, but I worry that raw may put me down the road of an eating disorder. I am eating mostly veggies and fruit and dropping weight fast. I feel fine but worry that this is like anorexia. My appetite is low for the first time in my life. I read about another woman who was 4 months into raw and going through a nasty detox. She said she was eating about 450 calories a day due to loss of appetite. She was normal weight starting raw is was underweight now, averaging 3-6 lbs a week. I was thinking that she could lose 24 pounds in the next month. All said the weight loss was fine and encourged her to continue (another site). She looked like she was wasting away in her picture. My thought was that this woman was dying and everyone was cheering her on. I have not seen anything like this on this site but I am concerned that some raw foodists think this way. I have been focusing on eating when I am hungry but do eat less than 1000 calories.
RAWCure – I would be interested in reading about this woman you mention. Can you provide a link or source?
RAWCure~ Eating raw and eating healthfully are not synonymous. One can eat raw and be very unhealthy… One can eat raw and be fat or emaciated… One can eat SAD and be much healthier than many who eat raw. It depends on WHAT one eats in relationship to what one’s body needs. Until one resolves the underlying issues to the eating disorder, it will not matter whether the person eats raw or SAD… the person will just keep transferring the behavior to each different food choices. This seems to be what happens in many cases… not all… but many.
RawDance,—Thanks for the link and the info,She was in therapy for about a year, with no change. She refused to even look at the therapist. I’ve come to understand that in her case the anorexia is part of her mental illness (currently dx’d bipolar) because her bio mother, bio maternal grandmother, and 2 of her bio mom’s older children have the same sorts of issues. We saw every child behavior and ed specialist in the state of AZ and got no help.We’re now in a small town in the midwest, and her dr refuses to even accept her previous dx’s of bipolar and anorexia, because as he says, “Kids that young just don’t get those diseases.” .. Yeah. he’s full of crap. My background is in behavioral health, so I’m able to use my education, experience and training to help my step daughter. We’ve learned she stops eating when she’s angry at someone in the house.. or when she feels slighted, so I’m working with her to help her identify and express her emotions. Since we went raw as a family, she’s eating more food and more often I can’t explain it.. She’s been cooked vegetarian at about 75% raw for most of her life (since she was 2 and I came into the picture… because that’s how I ate until 3 months ago,and I do most of the meal prep).. so,the switch to raw really wasn’t that dramatic..we discussed it with the kids and explained our reasons.. asked the kids to play along for 2 weeks. At the end of those 2 weeks, my step daughter was the first to ask if we could keep eating raw. I’m looking to understand the differences she feels and experiences on raw. I’m thrilled she’s eating better/more now and would love to understand why.
msraw~ You many never be able to pinpoint exactly what chemical or combination of chemicals is the trigger of the mental illness or the answer. You might look to genomics for some hints into the world of effecting gene expression with nutrition.
Much healing energy and strength to you and your family.
Kait: I wish I remembered the website I was on but it was in my early searches. But it was in the files section so it concerned me.
Bluedolphin: I worry about whether I am eating healthy raw like you mentioned. I think I am doing good but I know I am not like many who do it well. I have oral sensory issues so I have come far, but I am still early in my trying new things. I was very picky as a kid, and my husband would say I did not come far by the time I was an adult. I ate minimal veggies so I am learning a lot even about the basics. The good thing is that I don’t have as many oral aversions to raw food as cooked. I am eating granola in the morning, smoothie at lunch and a salad or other dinner item at dinner. But I plan to go 100 % raw for 30 days and then a 2 week juice only for detox. I have made juice and noticed how much hungrier I was than when I made a smoothie. I have Fibromyalgia and need to detox. Everyone I know is worried I am and will continue to not get enough protein.
RAWCure~ Congratulations on your progress. It is admirable!
If you listen to your body, there is no long term “doing it wrong.” If you start not feeling well, what you are doing isn’t working for you no matter what a guru/god/expert/flavor of the month/wacko says is the “right” thing to do. One of the tricks around this whole thing is distinguishing between a detox and an adverse reaction. As you start to detox, your fibro might flare up or something else might “appear” (see Detoxing/Cleansing/Correcting Response). There is no real way to tell if what you are experiencing is detox or an adverse reaction other then looking at context. BTW, everyone needs to detox and detox over and over again… there is no end to detox until one dies. Your fibro and other health issues are only an indication you are not giving your body what it needs… yet! It doesn’t mean you are more toxic then someone else. Some people do great by switching to a more nutritionally dense food program and never do a separate “detox program.” Others choose a concentrated detox program. Again, whatever works for you!
My best advice to you would be to address your worry. A pitfall is to compare yourself to others (especially cyperfolks because you may not know the whole story of their journey and/or current condition, and we are all different…) While you are in the beginning stages of this phase of your health journey, take counsel and direction from a good nutritionist or other healthcare practitioner. If you want to do more than depend on that “adviser’s” guidance, start to learn about nutrition. There is much to learn and much to unlearn. :) As your knowledge grows, you are able to then take more and more control of your own direction. You will learn how to decrease the toxins in your environment. You will learn about new avenues/modalities to pursue. You will learn about your body and what works/doesn’t work for you. The stress of worrying causes more damage then “eating the wrong thang.”
Ok… I’ll take a breath now…
To your wellness…